AT IMMIGRATION
Arrived back in New York and was pleasantly surprised to see that immigration was not all that tough. Sauntered through and went up to customs and was asked by woman whether we (Radhika and I) had any food items that we wanted to declare and what were we bringing back from Lima. Since neither of us had anything, we said so and were asked to move into another line. We did and were asked again whether we had any food items to declare and if that they did find anything in our luggage we would have to pay a fine. We said we did not have anything; the luggage went through without a problem. And then we were asked to move into a waiting room of sorts.

Through all of this, neither of us was told what was happening or what was to happen. Four of us were there in the waiting room. All non-white. And there were four counters. Man behind the counter asked me to give him my passport. He flicked through it. Asked me what I was doing in the US, why was I there and when was I there last. Told him I was there a week ago, he looked surprised then told him I was in transit to Peru. Where was I going to stay, was I meeting family, what I was doing in Lima, what did I do in India, did I have a business card? As I looked through my bag for the visiting card, he wanted to know how much money I had and did I have credit cards and would I show him my wallet. And through all of this, nothing about why he was doing this except for a random comment that this was a routine check. I finally found my visiting card case and pulled out the card. He wanted to know whether he could look through it. There was no way that I was going to say no, so I gave it him. He flips through it casually. Goes back to flipping through my passport and wants to know whether I have visited any Arab country. He could clearly see the visas and the fact that I had been to Sudan very recently. Wanted to know what I was doing there. Told him training on gender. Looks at my Canadian visa and remarks that I have been to Canada. It is obvious that I have, I have an entry date stamped on it. Wanted to know what my relationship to Radhika was since it was obvious that we were travelling together. Now wants me to bring my luggage to the table so that he can look through it.

Sifts through the luggage. Tells me that this part of his job is what he does not like. Sees a notebook, which says sexuality, sex, sexual rights on the cover. My notebook with details from meetings that I have attended on those subjects. Read through some of the pages and then asks me to pack up. I then put everything back on the trolley and he escorts me to the door to let me out. Informs me once again that this is just a random check and that I just got “selected” and I could go now. And I walk out and wait for Radhika to come.
So what do I make of all this? Ignore it as random, it probably was. But what did I feel: scared, disempowered, terrified that they would “discover” something. It doesn’t help that I have a passport, which has visas of all the places that I have visited which include Tajikistan, Uzbekistan, Vietnam, Sudan, Canada, Bangkok and many other places. And many visas of the many times that I have come to the US and left and come back and left. I am someone who talks about leadership of women, the need to question and I found myself quiet, scared and desperately trying to remember the names of people I know in NY who could help me if I needed help. What if I could make only one phone call, who would I make it to? Thank god I knew English, I knew what they were asking yet could ask no questions. Still feel unsettled by it all, scared of going through those immigration counters. Was it a check by customs or was it a check by immigration, I still don’t know and did not dare ask. All I know is that I felt my privacy had been invaded; I was not read my rights and given the present climate was too scared of asking anything in case they thought I was showing attitude! Long live freedom and democracy and the right to question!